Well...here it goes, my first blog post, and like the title, the first day of the rest of my life. I guess every day, technically, is the first day of the rest of your life.
My life has been on crazy ride. I am 33, and am in my third marriage, and final one. My first marriage was when I was 16 and a junior in high school. He started out as a good man and it started out as a good marriage, I am not sure what happened or when, but one day, it went from dream to nightmare. Not only had it turned into a horrible nightmare, but we had a child, born 2 months after my 17th birthday. I was a baby having a baby.
I've been through a lot....I am sure at some point I will go into details, just not today, not right now. I don't feel like dragging it all up at the moment.
I am now married to Gary, a newspaper editor, we have 2 children together, a 9 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. We are happy....collectively as a family we really are. And as a mother and his wife, I am happy. As a woman in general, I am not happy with myself. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror, and yet no matter how many times I try, I don't seem to have the will power to make the necessary changes to make that image different.
I want to be able to play with my kids, to take them walking through the park, shopping downtown, to go to get groceries without needing a handicap scooter to ride in, to be able to go to the mall with my daughter. I want to be able to go into public places with them without embarrassing them and their father, I don't know if I do or not, and probably don't want to know. I know people stare, people point and people laugh. I am morbidly obese, what else are they going to do?
Well, that is enough for today, it is getting depressing, and it is a Friday, I want to be happy when my little girl gets off that school bus.
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